Unlucky Lawyer
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once there was this guy named bill, and his favorite sport was driving around in his truck hitting lawyers. one day as bill was out running over lawyers and having tons of fun, he saw a priest hitchhikingon the side of the road.
mistaking him for a lawyer, bill almost hit him, but swerved away at the last second. feeling terrible, bill offered to give the priest a ride.
so bill and the priest are driving along, neither of them saying much, when bill saw a lawyer walking along. he immediately recognized him by the trail of slime he left in his wake. getting all excited, bill sped up in hot pursuit of the lawyer. at the very last second, bill remembered the priest sitting in his truck with him, and he swerved out of the way. relieved to have missed the lawyer, bill turned to the priest. "father, i almost hit a lawyer!" bill cried.
"oh dont worry sonny" the priest replied. "i got him with my door."
54．笑 话
sir william thompson was very deaf but he did not like people to know this． one evening he had invited several friendsto dinner， and while they were sitting at the table， one of thefriends told a funny story． everyone laughed， and sirwilliam， who had laughed as loud as anyone， said，"that was a very funny joke， but i know a funnier one． would you liketo hear it？" they all said they would， so sir william began hisstory． when it ended， everyone laughed louder than ever andsir william smiled happily． but he didn't know the reason for their laughter． he had told the very same story that his friendhad just told．
威廉・汤普森爵士非常聋，但他却不愿意让别人知道这 件事，一天晚上，他邀请了几位朋友吃饭。在就餐的时候，一 位朋友讲了个有趣的故事，大都笑了，汤普森也和别人一 样放声大笑，他说："这是个十分有趣的笑话，但是我还知道 一个更有趣的笑话，你们愿意听吗？"朋友们都说愿意听。
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于 是，汤普森开始讲他的故事。当故事讲完时，大家笑得比方才 还厉害，汤普森的脸上露出了欣慰的笑容。但他却不知道别 人发笑的原因。原来，他讲的正是方才那位朋友讲的故事。
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"excuse me,but the seat you\'ve taken is mine."
"yours?can you prove it?"
"yes,i put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅,你占了我的位置."
"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"
"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
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